Living on a Prayer brings Beauty from Ashes

Hi! I hope everyone’s doing well and enjoying spring! We just got home from our week of spring break where we had lots of sunshine, laughter and wonderful memories were made! I haven’t written for awhile, but my heart is so full and I have so much to share. Just a warning…it may be a long post! 😉 If you’ve followed me, some things may be repetitive. To the new readers, I promise there’s hope that with God, you can overcome and will make it through!! I’m now living answered prayer! Actually, lots of them!! I’m definitely not an expert, but I’d love share with you what God did for me!

I first started writing this blog because, at the time, I was looking for something to bring guidance to single women with kids after a divorce. I couldn’t find anything, so I just decided to write my own. 😊 It became very therapeutic in helping me to heal! I’ve been amazed at the number of women I’ve heard from that “needed to hear” what was written who had been through the same thing or are currently going through the same.

I grew up in church where my parents had the BEST group of friends, with kids that have become my dearest friends. We vacationed together, went out for dinner’s together, lived at each other’s houses, we fought like sisters over things, we fought over boys. We joke, those boys we fought over then are bald and ugly now haha!…..Church camp and youth group are some of my greatest memories!!! I’m so thankful for my Christian heritage and foundation that was life-saving in my adult years!!

Like every girl, my dream was to have a life just like mine growing up! I didn’t know any different! When I got married, it wasn’t what I dreamed of. It was a lot to go, yet grow, through, very unhealthy, toxic, a lot of belittling, very demeaning. It took the life out me, it took the joy away from me. It’s taken a lot of years to heal from it and find happiness within myself. But, as you read on, you’ll see, I did it, WE DID IT!!!💕

I want to be clear. I don’t have any hard feelings and wouldn’t change those years because of all the good and bad that shaped us. I’ll be the first to say, no negativity towards anyone, just ask my brother and my parents! 😜. I have to say , I commend them for honoring that wish and showing grace and mercy when I know they didn’t always feel it! My mom would even remind me of that at times I’d start to voice my own irritation in front of my kids. I have 4 wonderful kids that I’m so proud of and love with all my heart, I’ve crossed paths with wonderful people that I may not have known otherwise. What I walked through made my faith what it is and made me who I am today! I chose to cling to the cross, I chose to know, quote and pray scripture into my situation, pray song lyrics that spoke to me, sermons, books, whatever it took!!

When my kids were little, I did the best I could to make sure they had as “normal” of life as possible. I shuttled to/from practices, bday parties, team parties etc.-they definitely had a full social life!💕 Really, I overcompensated for them, wanting to fill a void being from a divorced family. We didn’t carpool much, or share rides often, mom/Mamaw/pop/uncle Greg got the job done! I also had wonderful in-laws that love me my kiddos fiercely and helped a lot too!

Groups of people gave me terrible anxiety! Im so thankful for “my people”, but I really isolated myself and was very closed off from the rest of the world. I did my best on the outside, but inside was so unhappy and miserable! My advice to anyone in a similar place, don’t isolate yourself because what happens is , you’re alone with your own thoughts that can run rampant in the wrong direction! Trust in the Lord, find “your people”, stay engaged and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

As the years have gone on, I’m a completely different person, happy on the outside and inside too. It’s hard being a single person and finding your place and where you fit! Couples hang out together and even if you’re made a part, it’s a feeling that unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to understand. I have the best family and friends and had no reason to carry the thoughts-feelings that I did. Isolating and being alone with my thoughts brought about so many things that weren’t truth!!

Now, I get to share the true point of this post and how this past week wasn’t just a vacation, but truly 23 years of answered prayers! My youngest son asked if we could go with a group of his friends and families on spring break (a group of 35 🤣) As you’ve read, that wasn’t my favorite thing and I was a nervous wreck on the inside. But, you know, the things we do for our kids!!😊 I’m so glad that I faced that “fear”. We had an absolute blast! I made new friends that I felt like I’ve known my whole life and strengthened old friendships by getting to know them better. I laughed so hard, went white water rafting , zip-lined, tried new restaurants with all kind of different, interesting foods! We really had a fun-filled week!!

As I was thinking about our week and the great time we had, I realized that every single one of my kids had a connection with a family there from being a classmate or teammate. It was an amazing feeling that although I may have been closed off/ guarded over the years, God knew the exact people that I needed to help me raise my kid! ! It takes a village and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you!!

As my kids get older and we’re in a different phase of life, sometimes trusting what’s to come for them and me is challenging. But, from how God’s guided my steps in the past and given us such a full, blessed life, my is plan to keep on keeping on. I have COMPLETE FAITH that God holds us in the palm of His hands and our future’s will be greater than we could even hope for or imagine! Love you all!

Thanks for letting me share!

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