A little long today. but it’s been a long journey!😊
If you’ve been following, I’ve shared the timeline of the healing from my divorce. It truly is such a process. One day at a time, one step at a time, one thing at a time.
I divorced on October 11, 2011
I just found something I’d written from a sermon I heard on August 26, 2012. I usually remember defining times like this and am usually forever grateful for the messenger. But, this one I didn’t remember until I read what I had written from years ago.
It said basically this….It was so encouraging that today’s message confirmed what I’ve already been putting into practice. Knowing that God truly does order our steps and we don’t have to worry because He is in control! We really can experience the power of the Holy Spirit and the freedom we have in taking authority and claiming His Word over our lives!
From what I had written, In weeks prior to hearing that message, I was on the right track. I had been experiencing an AMAZING presence of The Holy Spirit like He was right there with me, giving me direction and instruction and promises that what I’d been living through was the dark before the morning.
I wrote that I was entering into a new season and I rejoiced in advance for the joy that was coming with it!
If you’ve been around me lately, I had no idea then of the joy that I’d be receiving and am experiencing now!
The joy of The Lord within me has been unbelievable!! People have commented that I’m glowing. I’ve laughed so hard at everything and nothing at the same time, I’ve heard people say that they want what I’m taking!! I’ve laughed so hard, driving in the car with kids that I couldn’t breathe or see how to drive!
I feel like a laughing lunatic and want to initially be apologetic. But, I’m soaking it all in! I know I’m at a high on life and in The Lord. It’ll come a time it won’t be this way. I may not always be at such a high. But, one thing I know for sure, I will never go back to that dark place.
As I’m typing this, I’m realizing something. Going back to that dark place has been my fear lately and something that I’ve been praying about. Just last week, I was woken up at 3:30 in the morning with words that God gave me 2 years ago through someone else, right after I shared my written testimony. They told me, “It’s a rebirth in Christ and you’ll never be the same again.” It was going back looking for those words in an email that led me to all of this other old writing. God is so good and faithful!!!
I also wrote that I had turned songs into my prayers and my prayer then was that “The Hurt and The Healer” would collide! I was so hopeful for my future!
My prayers were answered and “The Hurt and The Healer” collided!!! God is so good and it’s amazing to be experiencing His goodness!
Last week I posted examples of how I’ve handled things in my life with almost the very same words that I had written about all those years ago and forgot about!! But now, the song I pray is “To be Different and Changed”.
From the words in this song, I also pray that I don’t want to hear anymore, but that He’ll teach me to listen. It’s so easy to get busy and caught up in the schedules and doing everything that we have to do. But, we should stop and listen better! For me, it’s to my kids that think every phone call that I’m supposed to make and their every ailment should be my top priority. They’re not, but to them it’s everything. May I stop to listen and realize the things that are most important to them and make those things my top priority!
I pray to listen more spiritually too! He speaks to us when we listen. Listening is just the first a part of it though. To then be obedient is the hardest part!!! Don’t ever be afraid to be obedient to the things you hear through the Holy Spirit! Other people need to hear it! Other people need to know that God is hearing their prayers!
The song also says, I don’t want to see anymore but give me a vision. I’ve been overflowing with ideas of things to do. May I realize the things that are visions, to see them finished out to help reach the hearts and lives of others!
I’ve shared how hearing Theresa Kemp in 2014, was another step and turning point in my walk. When she prayed over me, she reminded me that I wasn’t this, this and this (she used the exact negative words that had been hammered into my head and I believed) but that I was a child of God, made in His image. I will be forever grateful that God used her that day to say exactly what I needed to hear.
On May 24, 2016, God connected me with my now a wonderful friend that I will be forever grateful for. I never intended to share this openly, but it’s too funny now and too good not to share. “All things truly do work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
We were talking to the same guy at the same time and didn’t know it or each other. It was really no big deal because neither of us were serious about him, but STILL! It was a welcome to the dating world at 40 +.
She and I didn’t know each other, BUT GOD, in his mysterious ways connected us. She ended up sharing her faith with me and that time, I had gotten off track. She reminded me what it was like to be daily in His Word. She told me that day to become better and not bitter from my circumstances. I don’t know what my future holds. But, from that I’ve learned that I’d rather be single for the rest of my life in a good relationship with the Lord, than to just settle for the wrong relationship for the wrong reasons! I’ve been at fault for this many times in life. May I stay 💪💪!
From our conversation, I made a commitment to be daily in His Word and to be intentional about living for Him! I’ve never been the same since!! She and I have remained friends and continually encourage, support and pray for one another! I would not wish the 40+ divorced & single life on anyone. But, having someone there that understands is so helpful!
God was moving in such a way from all this, I felt led to write out my testimony and share it with every single person that had been a part of my life, as far back as I could remember. I had written in 2016 that I hoped to share it at Charity Church someday because so many there were a part of it.
This brings me to now and being led back to Charity Church where I’ve recorder my testimony to share someday. Being back there led to writing which has brought such healing and to blogging!
Only God could do these amazing things. It almost seems unbelievable, if you hadn’t been there with me through it! From writing this all out, it seems like, the defining times are two years apart. Only God knows what 2020 will bring but I BELIEVE, it’ll be great things!!!! He is far from finished is the vision/statement I made for myself for 2018. Those too, were God’s words spoken to me through someone else and couldn’t be more true! God is so good and faithful!
I just want to encourage anyone that is going through a rough time to never give up! He is our hope, our joy and our strength!
Have a great week and thank you for letting me share!!