Trusting God “in the meantime”

The journey of my life….I spent 13 years in an unhappy marriage that I was DETERMINED was going to get happy 😊. I did everything I knew to do, prayed every prayer I knew to pray and trusted and believed that God would answer my prayers, as I wanted him to. Only to end in divorce.That season of divorce, was the most painful thing I’ve been through in my life. An unbearable pain that shook me to the core. It changed every detail of life as I knew it. From the simple, every day things to crushing the future hopes and dreams I had for my family. I’m a dreamer and I had big dreams and a beautiful picture envisioned for my family. The good thing is, it’s still a beautiful picture. Just different than how I’d originally envisioned.It took me some time to get unmad at God for not answering as I wanted Him to.  But, in time, He showed me that His ways are better than my ways. Taking me out of an unhealthy relationship was the best thing He could’ve done for me. I just didn’t see it as unhealthy at the time. I saw it, how I had wanted, hoped and prayed for it to be.  How it could’ve been with 2 willing people.With that, I have no ill feelings toward my ex-husband. Get frustrated with, annoyed by, mad at, in times??? YES, YES and YES!!! But, somehow God shielded me from bitterness, resentment or anger that could’ve rooted within me.  I truly care for his heart and soul. I pray that way beyond being a good provider,  he would be a good father to our kids. The one, our heavenly Father, meant for him to be. They deserve it and only he can give that to them.For myself, I had to go into my own personal war room, pouring into God and allowing Him to pour into me. Going back to sermons I’d heard, books I’d read and searching for scripture that I could pray into my situation. There were deep hurts and wounds that needed to be healed. Mental and emotional damage done that had to be repaired. I just recently saw the movie, “War Room”. It’s amazing how on point that was with my life. Down to writing out my prayer lists and sharing with 2 very trusted friends. They prayed for and believed God with me. If I had known then, what I know now, I would’ve better equipped to handle things. But, I don’t know what I would change. It was walking through those time that equipped me,  gave me the relationship I have with the Lord and  an overwhelming love and gratitude for those that walked along side me.I’m in a new season, where the hurts have been healed and the damage has been repaired. My prayer list, for that area of my life, looks like this✅✅✅.I can now look ahead to where God wants me to be, what He wants me to do and who He has for me.Where…….I’ve been a part of 2 great church’s in my life. Emmanuel Church of Greenwood and Charity Church. I love them both!I’m so thankful for the foundation I was given at Emmanuel and the friendships I gained there. During my divorce, my living room was filled with my youth girls that literally held my head up, when I couldn’t do it on my own and cried along with me. It may have been from too many glasses of wine, on one particular night😜. But, nonetheless, they held my head up and loved me through the hardest time in my life. My youth group “girls” are now beautiful women that I love with all my heart!! My forever friends!!!In my adult life and throughout my marriage, Charity Church became my place of refuge and my source of hope and strength…. My Home! I was taught well how to be an overcomer in this crazy life! My kids were prayed for and prayed over. They’re who they are because of those very prayers. I was recently led back to Charity and there’s no greater joy than knowing, I’m living in God’s will, where I belong.What….I’m sure God will show me what he wants me to do. Whatever, it is, I’ll give it my all!!Who……I may tape something right across my forehead, to save the first question everyone asks😂.No, I’m not dating anyone. So many of my single friends feel they need to be dating or in a relationship. Personally, it’s a great time for me to grow in my relationship with the Lord, allowing Him to make me who I’m meant to be for whoever is praying the same prayer. I know one thing for sure, it takes 3 (2 committed people with God at the center)I may still be figuring it all out, but I look forward to my future. In the meantime, I’m trusting in God completely!!!!*If you don’t have a church home, come join me!* http://www.becharity.com